Its May Again.

Dear God, 

I’ve been told,  

that if I’m sad,  

You can make me happy.  

But I’ve been in pain,  

almost every day.  

It all started 

when Dad went away.  

All kinds of people said that You took him,  

and that I shouldn't worry or cry.  

But you know what? 

I don’t care what they say,  

because they have not the slightest idea of what’s in my heart.  

All I know is that my Dad being gone is tearing me apart.  

You see, truth is, I miss him so much,

but as long as he is spending time with you, 

I think it kinda makes it better for me. 

Just before I go, I have one request. 

Tell me how mum does it. 

Tell me how she has managed to keep her cool all this while. 

You see I have poetry, I have dance, 

all these I can use to vent out unspeakable sentiments- 

all I’ll need is my journal and pen. 

But mum, 

she has nothing. 

No one to hug her. 

No one to make her feel safe. 

I try to make her feel special, 

but at times that’s not like having someone around. 

So this time, don’t concentrate on these tears here that are streaming down my cheeks as I type this... 

This time round, I'd love it if You’d make her happy. 

Make her smile. 

Tell her that her kids love her, and tell her that I’ll make sure we have made 1,000,000 more sweet memories before she meets Dad.

Feelings 2012 (by Dark Angel on Monday, 9th January 2012 at 1958 Hrs).

Smiling, you pull me and

my bundled blanket

close, running your hands

everywhere at once

and not thinking

to take your own clothes off

till I remind you with a

sweet tug at your heavy belt.

This is the way

every women wants to be touched,

a smiling man

with gentle skin, close.

Every inch of my body

reacts to your finger tips,

I can feel it blushing

with pure excitement

as you look at me with

such adoration,

lust dripping off your lips

making me feel entirely too accepted

and I want those magic hands

to touch all the secret parts of me,

the parts know one knows.

We lay here with our thighs

rubbing against each other

and our skin gets sticky,

in this sweet, skanky, simple embrace

that's not quite love,

not quite pleasure,

just a nice mixture of both.

Heaviness In This Heart Of Mine.

I knew it.
No one would understand.
That is why I never wanted to tell it in the 1st place.

Strike one,
Still what was pre-concieved,
Is what was shown.

Is there really a need to get more confirmation?
Confirmation that we, humans
Are too judgmental for our own good?

Should we blame the society?
The media?
Our lost culture?

But these are my 'top of the list'...
And they too fall under this...
Judgmental abyss!

But I am no better
Than they are.
Even if I do not voice it out as they do,
I still think it.
Sin is sin in the end right?

God, please give me a heart like yours-
So that I can love unconditionally,
And give generously.

So as to see a little bit of You,
In them, as well as me,
No matter how they make me feel.

Remind me
Everyday,
That no matter what is said, I am yours.

It Is You I Love To Kiss.

I love kissing you

Your lips, so tender and soft

You draw me with your scent

You invite me with your stare

You are always there for me

This even makes me want to kneel

I have known you for years

Yet the very sight of you still makes me shiver

And when I draw close to kiss you

And I capture your scent

Warm breath

Skin texture...

All this drives me madd.

Then it happens

Our lips touch

My breath is robbed

You are my heart throb

This is sweet

Almost too sweet to be true

But it is true-and everytime I see you

Even if we are in the company of others-I want to

Kiss you

Feel you

One For The Ladies.

When you are busy telling her

She is too skinny

She does not have hips

She is too wide

She is fat

Before you go on telling

Your girlfriend that

1^st make sure that she is not the settler

Are you all she wants?

Are you even clean enough for her?

Are you her height?

Do you even treat her right?

Would you be insecure when you leave her with your friend, afraid that your friend will win her favour more than you ever could coz your friend is more of a gentleman?

Is it true when a man criticizes your appearance, he is actually worried about his own?

Or is he just being an a$$.

Are the girls who starve themselves  for a man, emotionally handicapped, or are they truly in love such that they do what their men want them to do?

And ladies, when a man says you are too thin, or too fat, and you start working towards pleasing him, despite the fact that you were perfectly healthy in the 1^st place, what does that say about you, about him, about your so called ‘union’?

What happens if he dies tomorrow?

This is one for the ladies, telling them a real man (as much as they are ‘seers’ so to say), would know that with you, he has the world, and that beauty is on the inside.

And if its the case of you not looking as good as you used to, he would lose/gain that weight, with you, to show you support, and he would communicate it in a way that would never occur to you that you are doing this coz he said so.

Men, yours is next. 

Too Soon.

Four days, till the lil' one's anniversary
No one ever got to know her
No one ever got to know how she looked
How she spoke
How she'd impact all of us

Her mother wishes she never listened to her family
Her mother always winces at the mention of a hospital
She winces whenever there is an advert on this issue
She went ahead and got rid of all that reminded her, of this issue
Needles, spirit, basins, scissors...her house has none of these

She would have been turning 5 this year
She would have already gotten into kindergarten, pre-school and all that
Maybe she would have been the ray of hope her mother always seems to search
She would have been her mother's healing gush of wind whenever she smiled

There's so much to talk about
But my question is, how do you get to help a grieving mother
Mothers pass away, fathers too, even siblings
and it hurts as hell...
But there is something that happens when a mother looses her child
To a miscarriage or even to a procured abortion behind misinformation

As a friend, how do you comfort this mother
How do you make her understand that God is love
What do you even say to her
No words suffice, all you can do is be there
Even while being there tears you apart 'coz it seems so little.

Well, you would be surprised how many women go through this everyday
This pain
They mask it all behind their smiles, partying, drugs, drinking and busy schedules
If you do not have a keen eye
You would never notice.

Next time you see a woman, take time to just listen to her
You never know, you may be a well sought after shoulder to lean on.

What's A Girl To Do?

He is
My rock
Never tires
To want me to smile
Even when I do not want to

He honestly wants the best for me
And he loves the hell out of me
Literally

Even when I do not believe in myself,
He believes in me
He could bet his last dime on me
Even if the odds are otherwise

What do you do to such a person?
How do you repay him
How much is an 'enough'

Words don't count
Actions seem cliche
The pair of them don't do him (or me) any justice
What's a girl to do?