Space Bound (His Version).

All that is left is to seal it with a kiss
In the morning cold, with the smell of a fresh day
Mine eyes meet your form
Your walk from a distance
Butterflies in my belly
As you draw closer
They turn to bees
As you become clearly visible
They turn to seeds
Growing in the company of love
Blossoming into a romance
Blooming into a bond
No longer the curves are speaking
But moreso your eyes are speeding
To meet mine at the point of need
To the point where i need to be
The man who will keep her heart
Feed it and tend to it
Helps when the heart has such a great body
And a voice to boot
Dont let me voice on the boo-T
And a personality to die for
Wonder why her fear is dead
Scared to death by her courage
Chased away by his carriage
Locked away in his carriage
Is her place in his heart.

Space Bound (Her Version).

You say "Space bound are we, so why put up limits"
I think you have a point
But when u live in a world
such as ours
where everything has boundaries 
and even love is calibrated
its hard to do that.

I got hurt
so did you
we both did
and we both healed
we went out into the world numb
one was tryna prove that if u love as u r meant to, the other person will eventually love you back
the other was tryna prove that u can live life without love on ur side

but we met
2yrs down the line
still it feels like it was yesterday
when u wrote ur number on a paper
that i lost within seconds of you turning around

but knowing what i was up against
i called
on that saturday
and we talked for hours
having barely known eacheother
and u drunk-called me
and u said so many things
most of which din' make sense

but as the eyes
grew to hugs
and the hugs
grew to hugs and a peck
and that grew to 
pulling a chair
and sitting for 15 minutes
and that grew to lunch
30 minutes
45 minutes
1 hour
...till boss lady got sour.

all this has a trend.
Its just a tornado meeting a volcano
as Emm in Emm wud put it
and sure, he's ryt, coz
I love you too much, to walk away. 

What Happens Now?

What happens now
that we are passed exchanging pleasantries
that we are done with small talk

We got past our hurdle
but every time i go down
memory lane
my heart shatters all over again.
Sometimes i think im not as over it as i thought i was.

How can a feeling so intense
be taken away by just an ounce of a memory?
Im thinking, love's gotta be stronger that this eigh?

(SMH).

Truths now lies
Life now dies
Assurance now causes an eye's
brow to rise;
and I am once more,
just but a shadow.

Uncertainty.

In the dangers of love, one must be allowed 
To posses "what if" and 'get out' clauses
Just in case one of you messes
And none of you apologizes.

So imagine how deep it has gone
For two proud souls to have the wherewithal to bend their knees
Stretch back and bend their backs
Take the fall and lose their stand
Just to get a footing and feeling of the other
Keeping in mind the gloating that's inevitable from the partner...
You wonder...

'T' makes all the difference.

The difference between a "touch" and an "ouch" is a "T",
So is the difference between "actual" and "tactual". - food for thought.

I was hopeless until He was nailed on a "T",
that proved to be the bridge, for me.

He saw me from a different "angle",
while all others saw, was just a big ol' "tangle".

His aim was to reach, "each" and everyone
in order to "teach", nor only preach.

He has always been my "ears"
especially when my heart was filled with "tears".

When others "teased"
all He did was "ease".

When the world wanted me to pay for my faults and put me on the "table" for all to see,
He told me not to be afraid, that He Is "Able".

He not only made me to believe I am a "winner",
He also promised that as far as my dreams were concerned, i could easily be a "twinner".

When friends offered "wine" for my troubles, and left me to the "wire" when the pain in the morning caught up,
He offered that He'd "twine" with me, and "twire" too.

Perfect Date.

Morning call

Morning text

Morning husky voice

Whole day chat

Evening call

Meet up

Dinner

Chat

Understanding

Advising

Worrying

Assuring

Care

Love

Both.

Chemistry

Building

Gazes

Exchange

Fingers

Intertwine

Heartbeats

Race

Club

Going

Seat

Missing

In the cold

Sitting

Drink

Sipping

Reminiscing

Bluing

Kissing

Holding

Home

Going

Mat

Javing

Caressing

Cuddling

Holding

Sleeping

All through the night.

---

She said:
"No thankyous"
"Please"
"I prefer my usual cash on the bed side table"

He was shocked,
so he walked to the dresser-
and did what he had to.

"Slam" the door shut.
She closed her eyes as it did.
She reached for the dresser, and took out a small box engraved "Forever Yours".

I want to, but I don't.

I want to accept, but i find my self not,

I want to love fully, but i hate often,

I want to trust sincerely, but i doubt always,

I want to be happy, but I'm mostly sad,

I want to cry after all this, but i'm too proud to show hurt, so i cry away from everyone.

I want to be respected, but i fall for those who do me wrong,

I am a good girl, but get intrigued by bad boys,

I keep going when i have every reason to give up, but i lose hope when faced with a small issue,

I make the most important decisions in the shower, and i lose focus at work meetings,

I want true happiness but I've been hurt so much, that somehow, 'hurt' is my comfort zone.

The Em in mE.

I feel sorry

for the me back then

the blind me

the unappreciated me

the sad me

the shy me

the me who was told its lame to dream...

But im glad i got to be that "me"

Coz its because of that "me", that i can get to be "em"

The Em everybody appreciates

The Em that dares to dream

The happy Em

The Em who is radiant and is always with an infectious laugh

The Em who expresses herself unapologetically. 

My Hero's Bleed...

Its an awkward feeling
When you get to be your hero's hero
It does feel weird
Coz you dont know what to say
How to say it
What to leave out
And when to listen.

Today i got to do a very tiny nano fraction of that
And i felt mighty helpless.
You see
When you know what your hero has taken you through
You never want them to feel alone even for one bit
And when they come to you
There is no room for tryzex
You have to nail it
You have to make them feel better than they came to you as.

Well, my hero
You may be down today
And i may have done nothing much to change that
All i can do is rock it
for us two
And hope that my joy can at the very least
Be contagious.

This is for you, yu and u.

Time passes for a reason

If it stood, still imagine what would never happen
People would be worse versions of themselves

And countries would never move on from their mistakes

Paradigm shifts would never occur
Nor would star crossed lovers find their paths.

I am of a lucky breed, this I know

Hated by many but treasured by more

Diversely wanting and innately craving

Truth from a soul and heart from the whole

Of a person so present their minds I nothing but adore.

The wholeness of your presence

The power of your essence

Humbled by everything you seem to do regardless.

I might be mumbling and rumbling but I’m glad it’s to you

I rarely find myself just speaking to thin air

But imagine how real it feels to have your scent in the air

All kinds of smells from you hug me and threaten to kidnap me

They send me to you - my captor - one who keeps me with such freedom

An open door for me to leave and a closed one when I’m in need

Somehow I contravene these misconceptions and enjoy your company

When you simply speak and express yourself unapologetically

If it's because I did something dumb or you simply expected better

My fears allayed but even at their height I chase helplessly after thee-

One who calms a troubled soul, one who contains the turbulence.

Aware of the perils in the waterfall, you jumped both feet in

Only to find a cold and callous soul

Yet you quickly knew this was just a rouse

Which you quickly set about to defuse

In real shock about how all of this turned out.

Sworn enemies in another life currently going out

Similarities and differences are few and far in between

I speak of expressing myself just that bit more freely

I may have lived a lie so long that I had started to believe it

I fought you with everything I had but too deep I kept sinking in

You have been so many things unto me I’m thinking you are an ET

So worry not when i keep calling you namesThat’s how many things you, yu and u, are to me.

All We Did.

It was special
in its own way

Soft
Tender
Gentle
Sensual
Mindful
Thoughtful

But that wasn't enough
that was not what was needed
that was not it

"Hold my hand"
but all we did was walk.
so when we got home

"Let's sing a song"
but all we did was stare at the movie screen.
so when we woke up

"Lets meet up and make a memory"
but all we did was work.
so when night time came

"Lets sit up and talk"
but all we did was fall asleep.

Now our 'picture-perfect' is faded
grown cold
to the soul
nothing seems to revive it.

That only means one thing
its done-
so we wake up and smell the coffee in our own special way.

NFL

As I stand in front of my small mirror to hold my hair up 

while getting ready to leave, you watch me as you sit on my bed

and your stare gives me ideas.

I start smiling an grinning, coz I know

your stare, aint just a stare

its an outburst

how bad you want me 

how hard you must be,

how quickly you'd call to cancel your plans.  

Adjusting my dress, teases you more 

and then you get up from my bed, and follow me.

You stand behind me

pressing your body up against mine 

your hands in my held up hair,

let it all down.

You breathe gently on my neck

as you move my hair to the side for a gentle kiss on my shoulder

your hands cup my breasts, and im out of breath  

You turn me around, and give me the stare again 

your eyes communicate such fervor

your grip communicates such need 

    

Then you realize that you are going too far, and just as you are going to pull back

I grab your face 

and share in a  swirled kiss 

then I realize, I'm going to be late…

I start rushing while my inner thighs are still damp 

from the you and I we just shared 

  

Now I’m at work, but still I 'm reminiscing seated at my desk,

of the hit and run we had earlier in the morn

and when no one is looking.. I sniff through my low buttoned blouse

there…… mmmmmm, I get off on the mix of you and I

then Sophia lets me down

and starts palpitating  

dripping I am...and my bra gets tighter 

I close my eyes

and amazingly my entire body quivers at the thought of you 

my New Found Love.

Ish

Ish…

Ish is her crazy side
She makes them wish, others imagine they could dish
a move or two, just to see her smile - beamish;
Angelfish.
She embodies the word amazing, even while being a lil bit boyish.
Even when she is in anguish, she has the strength to cherish, when she knows she shouldn’t!
Now, you might find that cartoonish,
but I find that strongish.

Rugano…

Rugano is the lady, ever so a daisy.
You do not need to know her, to know that she is dainty
Her pics bring out the daisy – curvy…….
her words ever so friendly.
Sassy,
Even ballsy (so don’t think u can mess with her).

Ish Rugano……..just goddessy.

Tortura de mí en su lugar

Tortura de mí en su lugar
Yo quiero ser el uno
que tranquiliza a sus miedos;
que borro tus lágrimas;
que siempre está ahí-
ahora y para siempre.

He was...

...
deep
gentle
kind
considerate
sensitive
funny
thoughtful
respectful
responsible
caring
strong
authoritative
loving
sympathetic
kind...

and now,
he holds my hand when i want to be held,
he knows exactly how a long warm fuzzy hug perks me up,
he understands me even without having to explain myself,
he does not hold back, he openly shows his affection towards me,
he actually puts in alot of effort into seeing me,
he is driven crazy if he does not hear my voice for a couple of hours,
he appreciates the things i love most, and even if he does not understand them, he still endures them... just coz it is important to me, and surprisingly some of them, are his faves too.
...my idea of romantic, is his too,
he kisses gently
from my lips
my back
my shoulder,
the nape of my neck,
my cheeks,
my forehead too.
when i say "i love you", he doesn't hesitate to say with such assurety "i love you too", regardless of where he is, or whom he is with.
All this, i wish i could tell him, but i'm afraid.
I am afraid he will leave like the last... and i can't take that again.

For now, i'll just pour out my heart in ink, on my journal.

R.I.P Darling

Im shocked, sad,

Im broken, grieving,

Im shaken.

You never know what impact

people have on you until you have them no more.

I feel stupid

I feel selfish

For all those chances i had to tell you how much u REALLY mean to me, and i dint.

For all those times I never got in touch-thinking you’d be around forever, but now you’re gone.

I will never get to feel your warm heartfelt hug anymore
the gentle kiss on the cheek
the genuine look that said "I know u said your fine, but how are you REALLY doing".
Im sorry 

Im angry

Im crying.
You were one person who took "us", us whom society had termed hopeless, dreamers
Us who did not know how to express all the deep stuff we felt,
u took us in, understood us, and gave us the gift we will always have.

I miss you

And the thot of never having to:

See you

Laugh with you

Dance with you…

Tears me apart

But I know you are in a better place now.

Foolishness.

I am angry
At what im feeling
At what my soul is yearning
No control, i am having
Thoughts of him are only looming
Thoughts of wanting
To scream and haul obscenities
At  the same time embrace and forgive a mistake realized
Torn between being myself
And standing up for myself
(trust me, they aint the same, esp in this case)
So im here
Talking to him
sharing what we used to share
grown up talks
silly jokes
but in my head
not in reality. 
I guess im a coward
and for now il settle for this foolishness
inside my head.

The Aftermath.

Its done.
Words were exchanged, views heard, opinions tabled,
But now im lost, I wanna go back to the day i was fighting for this
back to lack
back to a yearning of all this
because now that i have it all
i find it a lil bit less (or if you may, more) than what i bargained for.
Im sorry i came across as heartless
Im sorry i hurt this heart that you so willingly gave me
truth iz im still freshly hurt
and maybe you were right
maybe i shud be alone
i dont want to come across as 1 who strings people along
i dont want to "end up like you" as you once said
I just want to be me
And Emm is careful
Emm is cautious
Emm never wants to regret on any decision she makes
and that is why she takes thaaaat long to make up her mind
and get rid of her hangups. 
"So they say its best to go our separate ways"... ringing over in my mind
after coming to the realization that you were right all along, i just dint see it.
So i will indeed search and get rid of all the cobwebs and demons that so brutally disturbed everyone around me,
All in the hope of finding you once im done
coz i still want to be the one you think of most of the day
and u, the one i think of calling 1st, wen i think of something silly.

Disrepute.

Still I can't help but admit

How bitter sweet

All this is (note, the tense is present, not past ;) ).

It tastes like dark meat

On prickly heat-

Or whiskey neat.

You were amazingly cute

From the root to the shoot

I wanted to tell the whole world

But thank God I went on mute

Just before the disrepute. 

Mortality Rate.

I now know y,

U ached

Its coz u needed a break

Not coz of my mistake

Coz for you, a lot was at stake.

Now I smell the coffee coz im awake

After the quake

And shake

U gave

For “my sake”-

Though fake

I appreciate

All the weight

Has reached its expiry date

Its metabolic rate and molecular weight overwhelming

But il handle all this like Alexander the Great.

Lessons Learnt.

Everyone who has been in my life, shared in my joys and sorrows

Caused those very joys and sorrows too,

Have all been there for a purpose.

And while I have indeed failed at times,

Hurting them by my actions

Being hurt by their actions too

I’ve learnt a great deal all in all.

Every tear, heartache, smile and lovely memory is a lesson.

And we all know about lessons: until we get it, we will still go thru' class.

No matter how long it’ll take us. 

I Remember.

I remember when comments were not just about being 1^st,

When Love was not just about getting it,

When being introduced to his friends was not just about being a trophy,

When “I love you” wasn’t just about shutting me up

When a giggle was honest

When a song meant the world

When commitment was commitment

When submission was submission…

My Kinetic Theory Of Heat.

He stands for me,

he stands with me,

heck even his shoulder fights for me.

he’s hard for me,

for riding me,

pounding me,

but oddly enough he opts for loving me.

u know, this is not like him,

before I knew him I had heard his deeds,

that he is proud and rude,

but now his head will bow for me,

he goes down on me

and makes me cum for two.

I am good for boo, but he is good for me.

 so the woman in me thinks

 to let go of my pride, just as he did

 coz the two of us… we are strewn and brewed

we bound for good.

 since he has hurt many?

 wunt he hurt me?

Is it all worth the risk?

Oh this magnetic disk!

Should be a removable disc

But its not

It’s sweet

Neat

Im complete

With his kinetic theory of heat.

Don't Trip...

No one taught me how to say “no” to certain things

No one taught me that I needed to brush my teeth after food *(that’s y I have such bad cavities)

No one told me that love can make you feel like you own the world

But then again no one ever told me that love can make a really big fool of you(rself)

No one told me men lie

I though all men were like my Father

Kind

Loving

Honourable

No one told me women deceive

I thought all of them were like my mother

Wise

Soft

Selfless

No one told me that as you grow, you keep losing hope in worldly things

No one told me the older you get, the more enemies you make

No one told me that enemies make the bestest of “friends in need”

No one told me that your closest friends and disown you when you need them most

No one told me how to really take care of me, my soul, my needs

That’s y I’m good at taking care of others, it’s all I ever did

I have learnt a lot over the years

I’ve learnt that as a woman, when you say “No”, you have to accompany it with a stern look and a harsh tone for people to take you seriously.

I’ve learnt that dentists are not the nicest people on earth

I’ve learnt that love can make you die if you have no hope in life other than to be loved

I’ve learnt that sometimes a heart needs to hurt, in order to establish some precepts

I’ve learnt that men lie

I’ve learnt that women deceive

I’ve learnt that there is more to life than being accepted by people

I’ve learnt that friends are over-rated

And as I grow another year older, I take it upon myself to tell every other person who was never told……

That only Jesus Christ, can take care of  your whole being.

Hate The Way I Love (II).

I am angry

At myself

For letting you get under my skin that easily.

When did my walls crumble?

When did I lay down my shields?

You knew what this was

To us

To Me

To you

And you still had to sabotage it.

My questions is

Why u had to.

Do you fear having something perfect that much?

That you had to ruin it

Just so you can be in your comfort zone?

There was a song I once heard

“Don’t let real love pass you by”

And I always thought to myself,

‘If its real love, it won’t pass by, coz the two people sharing it will most definitely know this and will not let all that go’

But yesterday night I realized

A person can let go of true love

Very well knowingly.

I’d be damned if I’m to trust again.

Hate The Way I Love.

you left

didn't even say goodbye 

just like a shadow

dont even try to explain now 

i was something

nothing

but a piece of trash

don't smile and ask

about my day 

you didn't care from the start 

so don't pretend to, now 

you are nothing to me 

i'll spit

when you cry out to me 

I’ll never believe you

 
you never believed my love for you

 
you turned me away

when

all i wanted was recognition 

il never forget you underground poetry.

You Are Not Alone

If you have ever felt this way, well just know that you are not alone.

“I grew up always wanting to get approval from everyone around me there were times I could end up being generous to my friends financially, and so harsh to myself.”

“I have a burden that I carry that is so great, it weighs me down so much, I have stopped growing spiritually.”

“I stopped going to church coz I need God, now I only go to church to fool everyone as well as myself that all is fine.”

If at any one time this has been you, let what has happened in the past, not stop you from being what God wants you to be.

(for the ladies): We often find ourselves getting so happy, just after a man tells us that they love us. We should have more value of ourselves than for just a man saying ‘I love you’. And it is amazing what we are ready to do, just to keep these men saying it to us…..just know that u r highly favoured in the presence of God. Most of us carry so much pain and abuse; we have come to a place where we do not trust anymore. It is easy for us chiqs to want to build a life around a relationship with a man, but I want to challenge you not to settle for anything less than God’s best for you.

(for the men): It must be hard when everyone around you, requires you to be a man, and yet so many of us were fatherless, asin ur dad was there but he did nothing to make you a better person, others unfortunately lost their fathers when they were young……this in turn makes some of us walk around with our heads buried in shame. God is reaching out to you. Let’s be MEN, with a difference, who hunger for God.

We all need each other, we all need God, and it is important to know that nothing can ever take that place of God in our lives.

He Said, She Said Part I.

He said: she says i
             should learn to express myself to her more
          but she doesnt seem to understand
            it starts with the name i adore
          call it sweet,
          call it sad,
          call it till she feels she's bored
          for how can i tell her
          what i feel
          when her name doesn't know how it turns me on



She said: u say adore

             and i soar

             i wish i swore

             never to leave the door

              i want to explore

            first floor

but before

              i wanna know what it is u stand for

               what ur called for

              asked of

             what is in ur back door

             is it the remnants of post war ?

           baibe out pour

            go for!

          cry for!

        great war!

      once more!

    speak for!

             put your

            side door

             on the mezzanine floor

           i want to be ur

            service door

           take the floor

            heretofore

          hold still for

          looking for

         my flower store

          ponder no more

         il be all u want

        u lil petit '4'.

He calls

You call me emily
fancily
 as well as dirtily
sometimes angrily
and cockily
but all in al
it all sounds dreamy
u calling
emily
cozily
sometimes even fishily

Mind Game

I'll take you thru the emotions that i have got,

and stare into your eyes like im taking a mug shot,

im just hoping u aint a cheap shot,

coz i wanna lead u to me g spot


We can do this in the parking lot,

and ul dunk me like a basketball shot,

then il know iv finally made u gain freedom of thought

as we explore this oh so much fussed about tru lover’s shot

Baib’ I know you’re baking hot,

and im running like a racing yatch,

waiting to be fired like a rifle shot,

please don get second thoughts.